i don't know how.
i don't know why.

i don't know what goes thru your mind anymore.
i never really knew..
my heart breaks each time it happens even though i don't show it.

nope its not some guy.

im at my wits end as to what to do.
but oh Lord, im going to leave it in your hands.
help me to do the correct thing,
to say the correct words.


oh Lord you've searched me
you know my name
even when i fail you
i know you love me
i know you love me




and im really growing fat.
haven stuck to my 3-time wkly runs.
and im eating quite alot! oh my.
what happened to "kp fit and healthy so God can use me at my best"?
okay. its sun tmr. and gor jus suggested me running in the morn before service.
but gotta wake up SO EARLY.
groans. im so not a wake-up early person.


pirates three totally rocked! some said draggy,
oh well, i was quite intrigued(: maybe orlando took all the dragginess.
grins. im so sad about the ending!! but oh well. its a good ending n not something expected.


i don't know what to do about them either.
its like suddenly, there seems to be a huge gap btw us.
this deafening silence that i feel tired about.
and yet i cant ignore it. rather ignore them.
i shall msg ltr.


mornings are impt.
if you don't get them right, the whole day is ruined.
or at least til u step out of the hse?
i want to go and run now but mum says cannot.


and window shopping at vivo is fun.
haha. i totally went mad trying on stuff at river island.
there was this really nice and colourful tube dress which costs 90 bucks.
but i totally can't imagine myself wearing it out. but its so so nice.((:
and all the other stuff which were so nice but sure cannot wear one.
haha its still fun to just be off in neverland once a blue moon.

im still dreaming of you and me
away
im still dreaming of white shores and blue seas
tonight
where i can feel you so close
so near.

i wont forget.
i wont.
the night where i sat at the beach listening to the waves,
talking to god.
just hearing the waves crash onto the shore.
it was fearsome and yet
i knew you are in control of it.




okay. im stinking and perspiring.
sometimes i wish i could live in the arctic.

Labels: im dreaming.

9:59 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

how long have I been in this storm?
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
the water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head


oh how could i forget?
how could i tire?

if i could just see you,
everything would be alright
if i see you
this darkness will turn to light





won't you lift me,
lift me so i can soar.
like an eagle.
to greater heights.


and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright


yes catch me. as i spin and fall into your arms of grace.


i know you didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am I ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cos I'm so used to living under the surface

if I could just see you, everything would be alright
if I see you this darkness will turn to light
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright

and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes

and everything will be alright


i will hold on.
i will walk on.
i will look beyond my calvary,





now everything is alright
Everything's alright.




hah.i want my spiderman too.
but always, lord jesus,
be my one, true love

Labels: i lift my eyes to you.

9:53 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyO2V2ks204&mode=related&search=

haha. watch this(:

11:01 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

love:

unconditional love.

love is patient, love is kind.
it does not envy, it does not boast.
it is not self-seeking; it keeps no record of wrongs.
love never fails.

why is it so hard to love sometimes?
it all comes back to loving you first, isn't it?
to receive from you before giving it to others.

ugh.

love never fails.

jesus in me is patient,
jesus in me is kind.
jesus in me does not envy,
jesus in me does not boast.
jesus in me is not self-seeking;
jesus in me keeps no record of wrongs.
jesus in me never fails.

-beyond breaking point.
yeah i broke.

Labels: let the Healer set me free.

11:11 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

our god is far greater than words can make known
exalted and holy he reigns on his throne
in infinite splendour he rules over all
yet he feeds the poor sparrows
and knows when they fall

his power is great and will ever endure
his wisdom is peaceable, gentle and pure
but greater then all these glories i see
is the glorious promise
that he cares for me

Labels: come what may.

10:16 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

where can i flee from Your presence?
where can i run away where you won't be there
waiting for me?

a moment of stillness
a moment of silence
as i stand there thinking about old times
how i used to race down the hallway with gor
press my face against the glass and gaze into the fountain
how i wished a million times i could be inside
visiting the cacti garden
or visiting all the shops that seemed really colourful
the airport.
it has changed, but it still remains the same.
serene, peaceful; surreal,
the viewing gallery at least.
standing there in front of the winged machines,
i can almost lose myself.
i dream;
runing and laughing as i beat him in reaching the playground first.
sometimes, really happily plonking myself onto the Swensen's couch.
in eager anticipation for my fish and chips or banana split to arrive.
i remember the globe made up of many coins from all over the world,
i used to marvel howit stayed up there.
it's still pretty much the same isn't it?
yes, the stringed water fall that seemed like
a pilar with constantly changing lights.
it always seemed eerie and yet enchanting.
how i dreamed of sliding down, reaching the bottom
in a big splash.
it is pretty much the same.
and yet, how i have grown.
no longer some small girl with maggi-mee hair.
where i could plaster my face to the glass
and stare deeply into the fountain inside the terminal.
no longer can i run down the viewing gallery and scream
without having anyone staring at me like i'm some insane person.
Swenson's is no more,
and i can't imagine all of us,
happily eating fish and chips or a banana split
without a care about the bill or about eating with all properness.


i do miss my childhood.
i can't possibly do all that.
and i can only walk,
and ponder.
look, and dream.
these moments of silence.


rachel said she din't like the silence, that it was "too quiet".
she preferred somewhere with more people,
felt alone without the noise.


how often, how frequent,
have we let the noise and distractions drown you out?
let the world take our eyes off you and onto Self?


i want to walk there again,
soon.
get lost in my own thoughts.
not feel all lonely,
but with you beside me, of course.

hur.
of course thoughts came again,
blame it all upon a rush of blood to the head.

but you said.
take captive of every thought.
and i shall.
not my will but yours be done.


moments of silence; so surreal.


i hate pmsing. and feeling all emo.
and oh god.

i want to spend time with you in the drawing room.
my withdrawing room.
a place of intimacy and me being real and true to myself.
and i want to cry openly in front of you.
to pour out my emotions totally.
i want to love you lord with my mind.
i want to soar with you,
soar on the wings of an eagle.
to love you beyond my own intellect.


i thank you that in spite of my unworthiness,
you used me.
you used me on sat.
at the most unexpected place really.
shared the gospel
to an old uncle who had a stroke and was paralysed left from the hand down.
he had a dislocated shoulder,
he spoke mandarin and dialect.
he sat in a wheelchair.
he asked me to wheel him to lunch ltr,
he asked me to take a cup of water for him.
he ate using one hand.
he liked chicken and din't like the (quite gross-looking cucumber).
he cried when he said i was a good person.
he spilled rice and food bits all over his hankerchief.
he asked me to wheel him back to the room.
he asked me to help him onto the bed;
he asked me to support him on the left.
he shared with me he had a son and a daughter.
he said "daughters are good. she visits me monthly.
he continued, "my son comes yearly."
he went on about his beliefs; buddhism,
and said he did good things,
people would go to him to ask for prayer,
to ask for paper to dissolve in water and be healed.
to pray to guanyin to heal their aches.
he shared spending quite alot of money to buy stuff to burn for the gods
and the dead during the seventh mth.
it laid comon ground for me to share.
to share about what jesus had alr done for him.
that god loved him so much.
all hs hurts and pain in the heart and body,
he could heal.
that god loved him for who he is.
and i went on.
shared about the death, about the ressurection.
about the miracles he did,
about his innocent sinless life.
all in chinese.
i really thank god.
he listened,
he did.
i told him he could talk to god anytime.
that jesus was always beside him and would hear him.
he could ask jesus into his heart anytime.
that i loved him and i showed care because
jesus first loved me.
and i had to leave.
i dont know if he did accept.
buti pray tt he would.
or if i have a chance to go back again.
it's in yishun; nee soon.
oh god i thank you.


i thank you so much.


sleeping and resting is impt.
drinking 3 cups of coffee a day isn't good.
snuffles.
n i like my pink jacket(:




and when the earth fades
falls from my eyes
you stand before me
i know you love me
i know you love me

at the cross i bow my knee
where your blood was shared for me
there's no greater love than this
you have overcome the grave
your glory fills the highest place
what can separate me now?





For i am convinced that
neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the
love of God that is in
Christ Jesus our Lord.

-Romans 8:38,39

so i lift my eyes to you lord
in your strength will i brea through lord
touch me now,
let your love fall down on me
i know your love dispels all my fears




im letting go, again

Labels: loving you

9:23 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

look what a mess we made of love

again,
i can never comprehend the extent of your love,
of your grace.
help me, to live life pleasing to you.

oh how many times
have i broken your heart
still you forgive
if only i ask
how many times have you heard me pray
draw near to me




life is fleeting.

let me be captivated by you, jesus.
let me be kingdom-focused;
kingdom's perspective.

that every sky,
oh what imagery did you paint,
that it'd all be for me?

that every heartbeat,
oh which did broke you heart,
that you still keep me in your hand?

let every fibre in me,
of my being give praise to you.







im lost, oh yes.
let me hear you whisper that invitation,
once again,
that only i can hear;
the softest of all whispers.
then , maybe
i would rid myself of all my failings,
all my weaknesses,
and be made new again.

rid me of myself, i belong to you
oh lead me, lead me to
the cross.


that as each morning awakens,
i would give my heart to you,
for you to change and mould it
til it likens to you.

the greatest battle is always one within, how true.

capture me!
run away with me!
only you and me
only you and me.



if the invitation is still open;
my answer is yes.

Labels: let me dance with you, pappa

9:24 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

-

all the brothers and sisters

-

of old.

-

credits.

-

wonderful people

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